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Why I Unsubscribed from your Newsletter

At the new year, I think we all enjoy a fresh slate, which sometimes means unsubscribing from a few of the newsletters, advertisements, and company news bundles we get all too often.

Hey, I’m okay if you unsubscribe from this newsletter if it will help you get your writing done, or if you’re not a writer and you receive this as a personal legacy, or if you’re sick of me and everything I represent. Go on; I won’t be offended.

Besides, the real problem with unsubscribing from newsletters is not initiating the action — it’s those circles they give you to fill in. What kind of milquetoast choices are these?

  • “No longer interested.”
  • “Did not sign up for this newsletter.”
  • Or worst of all, “Unspecified.”

We need some real options. Like:

  • Our conversation at the cocktail party ended awkwardly.
  • Someone I know doesn’t like you.
  • I must have been drunk.
  • The way you automatically generated my name in the “To” field made me doubt the possibility of human connection in the digital age.
  • Your success vaguely threatens me.
  • This is my burner email.
  • You unsubscribed from my list, SOooo…

Seriously, though, we all need to preserve our minds, and I don’t begrudge anyone the right to filter what they take in.

Of course, I hope you stick around. But if you go, go in peace — and make 2017 the best year ever.

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